When to ask for first date online dating
It’s fun, but it doesn’t become ‘real’ until you’ve met in person and found out if there’s a spark between you. A number of factors will affect how long you wait and each situation will be unique, Some people like to meet matches as soon as possible, especially if they’re local.
This can be done very safely if you choose a daytime meeting in a busy local cafe and arrange to have a quick coffee together to decide if you’d like to get to know each other better.
This approach has many advantages; you can learn more about someone within 10 minutes of meeting them than you would in hours of carefully constructed emails.
The examples below are intended to stimulate your own ideas rather than as rules. Why: Is the person about to make any major life changes e.g., leave their 0K/year job to go back to school? Do they see it as a job, a vocation, or are they primarily motivated by climbing the career ladder?
If meeting up is difficult because of location then an exchange of phone numbers might be the step that takes your communication offline and off the site.
Talking on the phone, or over Skype, will help you decide whether to overcome the obstacles to meeting because you’ll get a more realistic idea of whether there’s a strong connection between you.
This might not be important to you, but it might be. Why: The main point here is not to jump to assumptions about your date's politics. Why: If your date is exploring a relationship with someone else you might want to push pause at the end of your first date but offer them the opportunity to get back in touch with you if the other relationship doesn’t work out. Especially in the age of internet dating, people sometimes meet multiple people they’re interested in around the same time.
Why: This will tell you about your date’s preferences and also if they're someone who tends to reflect on experiences and can talk about their thoughts. Why: Tells you something about whether they seek out new experiences. What are your thoughts about the upcoming election (any upcoming election)?
Starting with a coffee date also gives you less time to get anxious or self-conscious because there’s less build up.